Pinkberry,

Since you died the other day, I have made a few realizations about our relationship.

Just have to say you have consumed too much of my pseudo-professional life.  Since the beginning of our union you have morphed me into a psychotic work-aholic Sure you link me to my various emails, the net, games, and 24/7 messaging access to my bffs (shout out to E, Kev, Bry), and my mentor (Lenny H). Late night text messages to my favs (KG, Quisha, AJ, Diamond).

But you have also caused my social manners to decline. I can no longer have lunch with you. You’re banned from the table. Also banned from my bed.

Sincerely yours,

E-Mitts

P.S. I AM NO LONGER AN ADDICT!